We all experience times of self-doubt in our lives, and it seems this potentially stifling emotion raises its head particularly strongly when we are facing challenges or going through a season of change in our lives. It weaves its way through our thoughts and often increases feelings of uncertainty and insecurity.  It causes us to question our abilities, decisions, and sometimes even our self-worth.  However, there are times in our lives when it serves a positive purpose, and when it is considered with openness and curiosity it can develop as a catalyst for growth and self-discovery. 

I was uncertain about my next steps regarding job direction and where I could source a reliable income from when I was mandated out of my role as a school principal. With my entire career centered around education, I grappled with self-doubt about venturing into new fields. The injustice of my circumstances, coupled with the risk of a life-threatening medical procedure, left me feeling emotionally drained and lost. Desperate for a sense of meaning and stability, I prayed for new opportunities to arise.  Despite the overwhelming challenges, I refused to allow fear to restrict my quest for an alternative path or to allow the feelings of self-doubt to limit my options.

At some point in our lives, we’ve all grappled with moments of self-doubt; it is universal and transcends across all ages, genders, and backgrounds. It manifests in various forms, hindering progress and stifling our potential.  It often takes us to dark places where we can’t see our value or potential, and we can become deeply negatively impacted by the anxiety and stress it creates.

Positive psychology offers insights into understanding and addressing self-doubt from a constructive perspective. One way to counter our negative thinking is to remind ourselves of times we have experienced success or achieved positive outcomes. A close friend of mine, supporting me through the grief and loss, encouraged me to focus on all the people (adults and students) who had come to me over the years for various reasons, simply because I listened, and helped them work through their challenges.  Holding onto those memories and reminding myself of them was instrumental in helping me to process my pain.  I could see the value I had added in so many people’s lives. It is important that we challenge our negative beliefs and reframe our perceptions when self-doubt comes knocking. Instead of succumbing to feelings of helplessness, we can choose to cultivate resilience and adopt a growth mindset.  As Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, eloquently puts it, "Learned helplessness is the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn't matter."

Psychologist and author of Mindset, Carol Dweck, further claims we shouldn’t limit our opportunities by fearing change and subsequently opting for familiarity.  “Why seek out tried and true, instead of experiences that will stretch you? Why hide deficiencies instead of overcoming them? Why look for friends or partners who will just shore up your self-esteem instead of ones who will also challenge you to grow?”

She suggests that rather than seeking validation or avoiding challenges, we can embrace the discomfort of uncertainty and use it as a springboard for personal and professional development. So how can we navigate those frightening waters of self-doubt and emerge stronger? Here are some strategies inspired by positive psychology.

1.      Challenge negative thoughts: When self-doubt creeps in, question the validity of your negative thoughts. Are they factual or based on distorted perceptions? Replace self-limiting thoughts with empowering affirmations, realistic perspectives and memories from your past that counters the negative messaging. If you cannot do this yourself, talk to supportive friends and colleagues who can remind you of what you have to offer.

2.      Focus on your strengths: We all have them!  Remind yourself of what you do have to offer, what you can accomplish easily and what skills you possess.  

3.      Cultivate Self- Compassion: Instead of berating yourself for perceived shortcomings, treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend facing similar challenges.

4.      Set realistic goals: Break down overwhelming tasks into smaller, manageable goals. Celebrate each milestone along the way, recognising your progress and achievements.

5.      Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family or mentors for encouragement and guidance. Surround yourself with positive influences who uplift and inspire you to overcome self-doubt.

6.      Embrace setbacks as opportunities: Instead of viewing setbacks as a reflection of your worth, see them as opportunities to learn and grow.  Extract valuable lessons from them and use them to refine your skills and strategies. 

In conclusion, self-doubt is a natural part of the human experience, but it doesn’t have to define your journey.  By adopting a proactive mindset, we can transform moments of uncertainty into opportunities for growth and self-discovery, which can lead us towards a brighter and more resilient future.  As for me, I now have considerably more opportunities to do the aspects of my school principal role that I loved, and I am nowhere near as consumed with the stress and limitations that coincide with that role. While, many things are still taking shape for me, I am grateful to have opportunities I would never have experienced without that setback.